This Week in Netflix :
"Children of Men"

As I am pretty much watching at least one DVD rental per week lately, I have decided to start a new feature called "This Week in Netflix" with periodic reviews of my DVD of the week. I may even go back and review some past DVD rentals, but for now let's stick to this week's selection: "Children of Men," based on a P.D. James science fiction novel and starring Clive Owen, Julianne Moore and Michael Caine and directed by Alfonso Cuaron.

For those not familiar with the story, the premise is basically this: The movie is set in England in 2027. Society faces extinction because women have lost the ability to reproduce, with no child having been born since 2009. We never really find out why or how this has become the case, it just is. Martial law has been implemented, with refugess being caged and/or deported and a revolutionary group called the Fishes at war in the streets with the government with bombs going off and random gunfire. Probably a lot like Baghdad is now, only without the unwanted U.S. military presence.

The always good Clive Owen plays Theo Farron, a former activist who is pulled back into that world by a former lover Julian (Julianne Moore). Julian and some members of her group kidnap Theo and present him with a proposition: Help them transport a pregnant teenage refugee named Kee out of the country to the (perhaps) mythical "Human Project," a place where scientists and doctors are working to solve the infertility problem that threatens to wipe out society as they know it. For some reason, also not fully explained, the Fishes do not want this to be a successful mission.

I was kind of envisioning a "Blade Runner" type story where you have an intelligent action-thriller set in the bleak, dirty, colorless, anarchic future that seems to be the standard for all such stories not starring the Jetson family or directed by George Lucas. Maybe even something along the lines of the recent futuristic actioner "V for Vendetta" which I did not expect to like but actually enjoyed quite a bit, Natalie Portman's shaved head and all. Heck, even if it was as brainlessly entertaining as "Total Recall" I would have been happy. Suffice it to say that is not what I got.

Technically and visually the movie is quite impressive. Cuaron really has a flair with the camera and his use of documentary style gives the film a gritty look and feel that serves this material well. In particular, there is a breathtaking sequence where Cuaron and cinematographer Emmanuel Lubezki somehow get the camera to swing around the inside and outside of a speeding car while it is being attacked by terrorists. I read that the scene has been dissected by film school students and aspiring filmmakers alike trying to figure out just how it was pulled off.

However, the story and tone of the film is just so relentlessly grim and depressing that I couldn't take it after a while. In addition, Cuaron asks more questions and presents more ideas than he is able to adequately answer and develop. How did women become infertile? Why is Britain the only country still (barely) alive and kicking in 2027? Why are the Fishes trying to stop Kee from getting to the Human Project, where she conceivably could help save society from extinction? And what the hell is the deal with Michael Caine's hair?

On a positive note, my buddy Michael in North Carolina will be happy to know that his longtime nemesis Julianne Moore's character meets a rather early and bloody demise in the film. While we're talking about Moore, she seemed miscast and her character kind of superfluous to the story. In his review of the film, Chicago Tribune movie critic Michael Phillips noted that "Moore's apparently immobilized forehead is proof that a good actress is not improved by a lack of expressivity." I imagine that Moore's early end would put a smile on my friend Mike's face. Unfortunately, this movie did not put much of a smile on mine.

Rating: 2.0 stars out of 4

Rating Scale:

0 - I read that Rob Schneider passed on the script

1 - Slightly more entertaining than a "Simpsons" rerun

2 - I like you, but can we just be friends?

3 - So good I would have paid Netflix extra for shipping

4 - Not even Jack Bauer could prevent this movie from world domination