Saturday, September 29, 2007

The Hunt For Red and Blue October

Given the respective histories of the two franchises and their places in baseball lore, perhaps it was appropriate that it happened this way.

Friday night, my Boston Red Sox and hometown Chicago Cubs were each on the verge of clinching division titles and a spot in the 2007 MLB playoffs. The magic number for each team was two, meaning a win by them and a loss by their closest pursuer (Yankees and Brewers) and the division was theirs. The Red Sox were coming off a rough couple of weeks where a once insurmountable 14 1/2 game lead in May had been pared down to 1 1/2 by the surging Yankees. After sweeping the Pittsburgh Pirates at home last weekend, the Cubs playoff spot was put on hold by virtue of a 3 game sweep at the hands of the Florida Marlins, a team long since eliminated from playoff contention and reduced to playing the spoiler role.

Behind a solid outing from Japanese pitching phemon Daisuke Matsuzaka and a HR from David "Big Papi" Ortiz, the Sox defeated the Minnesota Twins 5-2. Magic Number: 1. However, the Yankees were leading the Balitmore Orioles 9-6 with no less than Mariano Rivera on the mound to close out the deal in the 9th and give life to the Yankees division title hopes. Well, a 3-run triple by Jay Payton in the bottom of the 9th forced extra innings and the Orioles completed the comeback in the 10th on a suicide squeeze by Melvin Mora which plated the winning run. More importantly, it delivered the Sox their first AL East crown since 1995.

With newly re-signed ace Carlos Zambrano on the hill and a depleted Cincinnati Reds roster between them and a division crown of their own, the Cubs took care of business with a 6-0 win. That, coupled with a loss by the Milwaukee Brewers later in the evening in which, ironically, former Cub Greg Maddux was the winning pitcher for the San Diego Padres, clinched the division for the Cubs. The Cubs are in the playoffs for the first time since 2003, when both them and the Red Sox were a mere 5 outs away from meeting each other in the World Series. Could this be the year when these 2 storied franchises meet in the series again?

The Red Sox finally got the over-referenced "Curse of the Bambino" off their backs in 2004, when they came back from 3-0 down to defeat the Yankees in the ALCS and then swept the St. Louis Cardinals to win the their first World Series since 1918. Their opponent in 1918? The Cubs. For the record, the curse was merely a tool of the lazy sportswriter (e.g. The "Boston Globe's" Dan Shaughnessy) and television network (e.g. FOX) to explain the Red Sox playoff failures. Any intelligent Red Sox fan knew that the reason for their failure had to do with the performance of the players and not any ridiculous curse. As a Sox fan, perhaps the best thing that came out of the 2004 series win is that major sports outlets could no longer mindlessly run the Bill Buckner, Bucky Dent and Aaron Boone clips before any Sox/Yankees or Sox playoff game. The "curse" as it was became a non-factor, so ESPN, Joe Buck and Tim McCarver had to find something else to talk about.


For the Cubs, this is yet another chance to exorcise the equally ridiculous demons of Steve Bartman, the Curse of the Billy Goat and Leon Durham and forever end the talk of some curse causing a nearly 100 year World Series draught. With series wins by the Sox in 2004, the crosstown rival White Sox in 2005 and hated division rival St. Louis in 2006, the heat has been turned up a notch and expectations have never been higher for Cubs fans and the franchise long known as the "Lovable Losers." The off-season signing of free agent Alfonso Soriano, hiring of Lou Piniella as manager and a $100+ million payroll have only served to fan the flames of a fandom desperate for a winner.

While it would be a TV ratings bonanza, part of me dreads a potential Cubs-Red Sox World Series as it will make me ultimately choose sides between two teams that I like, the Red Sox moreso. In that case I will most definitely be rooting for the Red Sox, though I would not be devastated to see the Cubs win. Hopefully, it will not come to that and one team or the other will make it to the Series and I can give them my full support. Whatever the case, it promises to be a wild ride this October.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

What Famous Person Is In Deep S%#t This Week?

Kiefer Sutherland: Where was the CTU when he needed them?

After reading about Kiefer Sutherland's DUI arrest on Yahoo! today, and considering that I am reading about one celebrity misstep or another on a daily basis thanks to the Chicago Tribune's "I can read this paper in 10 minutes before I get to my train stop " publication called Redeye, I have decided to inaugurate a new feature titled "What Famous Person Is In Deep S%#t This Week?" Quite frankly, I am concerned that there just isn't enough gossip on my blog (some might say that is a good thing) and I figure between Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Isaiah Washington, Charlie Sheen, Britney Spears and the various members of the Cincinnati Bengals I am good to go.

Though I have to admit I find this a little troubling, there is actually a website - totaldui.com - which features a "Celebrity DUI Spotlight." Believe me, you do not want to be spotlighted on this list. Comprised of a rundown of the recent DUI arrests of various athletes, actors and musicians, this baby reads like Dostoyevski. Honorary mention this week goes to current PETA punching bag Michael Vick, the NFL player whose indictment on dog fighting charges by the state of Virginia came on just the right week to avoid being featured on my blog. Can't wait to see if Whoopi comes out and defends him again on "The View."

Thursday, September 20, 2007


Gordie and Me

So, I was perusing the articles on Yahoo! today and came across a somewhat bizarre story related to hockey legend Gordie Howe. Apparently, neighbors of his in Michigan have been conducting extensive surveillance on Howe's property, and by extensive I mean (allegedly) taking pictures of his home every 5 seconds among other things. Howe has filed a restraining order against the couple that was doing it. Hopefully, when I grow old I'll find a more interesting hobby than spying on my neighbor 24 hours a day. Golf is fun, maybe I'll learn how to play bridge.

The content of the story wasn't so important as was the fact that it was about Howe, aka "Mr. Hockey," a Hall of Famer who finished up his brilliant career with 2 years (1977-79) on the New England Whalers of the World Hockey Association and a year (1979-80) with the Hartford Whalers after the team joined the National Hockey League. Not to get too hockey geek on you, but Howe won the Art Ross Memorial Trophy (most regular season points) and the Hart Memorial Trophy (MVP of the league) six times each, ranks third in NHL history with 1,850 total points and was an All-Star 23 times. It took no less than Wayne Gretzky to come along and break some of this guy's scoring records, many of which stand to this day.

I had the good forture of seeing Howe play in-person, as we were Whalers season ticket holders at the time. Among the highlights were getting a stick that he used and broke during a game, as well as an autographed goalie's stick that is one of my prized pieces of sports memorabilia. Then, there was a night in 1984 when I attended a celebrity sports event at the Hartford Civic Center exhibition hall with my dad and my buddy Mike. Howe was there, along with such illuminaries as actress Susan St. James (riding high with the TV show"Kate and Allie" at the time) and local boxer Marlon Starling, who was the WBC World Welterweight Champion in 1989. I played him in Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots and even took a few rounds from the champ as I recall. It was a cool night, and I was in heaven with various members of the Whalers, Patriots (when it was wayyyyy less popular to be a Pats fan) and local TV personalities in the house.

Remembering that my dad took a lot of pictures at the event, I dug into the scrapbook and pulled out a few photos from the night. You get to see yours truly when I wore a younger man's clothes, had braces, wore a CB jacket because they were all the rage and for some reason wore short-sleeved polo shirts under a long-sleeved dress shirt. All I can say is that I was 13 and not yet taking my older sister Elizabeth's fashion advice. She didn't get to meet Gordie Howe though, so there.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Worst Movies of the Summer

Well, the summer is almost over and that means three things: 1) The kids go back to school; 2) Patriots coach Bill Belichick purchases a new video camera for the upcoming NFL season; and 3) The major movie studios' PR machines kick into high gear as they roll out the Oscar contenders.

The latter being the case, this is also a good time to take stock of the generally less award-worthy summer movie season. That, and the fact that my mom e-mailed me an article from the Washington Post titled "Critics Everywhere Agree: These Were the Stinkers of Summer." The article highlights what went wrong in the multiplexes this year, using the aggregate reviews from the Rotten Tomatoes website to determine the bottom 10. Yes, a Lindsay Lohan movie is on the list. Some more, um, law abiding big name stars' movies are on the list too, though one might argue that subjecting us to these movies was a criminal offense. It should be said that nothing went wrong this summer from the studios standpoint, as gross domestic ticket revenues were in excess of $4 billion, a new record.

Having surveyed the list, I am proud to say that I did not see any of the 10 movies, though I was tempted in a few cases as there are a number of actors in these films that I like. This is not to say that I did not see some bad movies this summer. "Balls of Fury" was probably the worst movie I saw in the theater this summer, but in my defense I'll say that: 1) It wasn't my first choice that night; and 2) I was limited to choosing from 2 theaters because I was meeting someone there. This was the definition of a "Big name star who is slumming for a paycheck" role for Christopher Walken, and all I can say is that I hope he was paid well. On the plus side, there were several "that guys" in the movie, including the guy who was Ron Livingston's neighbor in "Office Space." I was wondering whatever happened to him, though in hindsight I wouldn't have watched this movie to find out.

Though there are movies such as the third installment of "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "Ocean's 13" that got mixed reviews, this list is reserved for the worst of the worst, the absolute dregs. As I mentioned, Lindsay Lohan made the list. In fact, she managed to make it twice, with "I Know Who Killed Me" and "Georgia Rule." Like she really needed any more bad news this summer. Steve Carell made the list, too, with the most expensive comedy of all time ("Evan Almighty") which was disappointing to me as I have really enjoyed his work on TV in "The Office" and onscreen in "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy" and "The 40 Year Old Virgin." Jim Carrey should be commended for having passed on this less-than-stellar sequel to "Bruce Almighty" as well as the poorly received "Dumb and Dumber" sequel that came out a few years ago. Two good career moves (or non-moves, depending on how you look at it) for Jim.

I don't want to give too much away here, but will say that the #1 worst reviewed movie of the summer features one of Steve Carell's co-stars from "The Office." Think you got it? Even worse...did you see it?

Monday, September 03, 2007


Grant's Rants

So, I have decided to inaugurate a new feature. I have been thinking about it for quite some time, and frankly did not act on it sooner because I wanted to come up with a sufficiently catchy title. So, after much deliberation I have come up with "Grant's Rants." Please, hold your applause until the end of the post. Basically, this is a forum for me to take a particular person, organization, decision, etc. to task. It is kind of a variation on Stephen Colbert's "Tip of the Cap/Wag of the Finger" segment from "The Colbert Report" except that mine will always be a wag of the finger. I will try to post a rant every week and who knows, maybe some weeks I will have more than one. As long as Bush is in the White House that is very likely.

Anyway, my first rant is directed at the fine folks at Comcast, my cable TV, phone and Internet service provider. A few weeks back I came home from work on a Monday to find that my Internet and phone service were out. So, I call Comcast customer service on my cell and explain the situation. After doing some remote testing of my modem the customer service person has me conduct a number of tests, none of which restore my service. So, I am told that they will create a "ticket" so that the technicians at Comcast can continue to troubleshoot my modem remotely during the evening and, in theory, solve the problem.

I get home from work on Tuesday to find my service still out. Back on the cell phone again, this time with another customer service rep. Same tests that don't work. I try to schedule a technician to come over in the evening, which of course is not available because why would you have a service person available from 6-8pm during the week, when most of us have 9-5 jobs and can't sit around all morning or afternoon waiting for a repair man? Despite not scheduling a technician during the day, I get a call on my cell from a Comcast technician on Wednesday afternoon saying he is at my apartment and can I buzz him up. I am like "Why are you at my apartment, I never made an appointment." I call customer service right after that and speak with Leo, who is very helpful and gives me his direct extension for future communication on the matter. "You mean I can talk to the same customer service rep twice? Wow," I say to Leo.

That night, I get home to no phone/Internet. So, I call customer service again and ask for Leo. The woman who answers proceeds to tell me that he is in a different call center (Charlotte? Canada? Schaumburg?) and she can't connect me. So, I go "Alec Baldwin in 'Glengarry Glen Ross'" on her for like 15 minutes before I settle down and agree to do some tests. After we run through a series of fixes on my computer the lady proceeds to tell me that my operating system is faulty and that I should contact Microsoft. So I say "You mean to tell me that the operating system on my computer, which has worked perfectly for 1.5 years, just suddenly failed at the EXACT same time as my Comcast phone and Internet service. That is a hell of a coincidence and I think you're wrong. I want a technician to come here and replace my modem."

This continues to Friday when I get home from work and, magically, my service has been restored. Whoo hoo! I surf the 'net and check my phone, all systems go. So, I call Comcast and cancel the technician I have scheduled for Saturday morning and I go out for the night. When I get home around 10:30p I go to my computer and, lo and behold, both the Internet and phone are out. And this right after I canceled the technician. If Comcast is trying to torture me a la the movie "Saw" it is working. They have slowly broken my will and my spirit and I would now consider cutting off my own arm to have home phone/Internet again. I am back on the phone several more times Friday night before I finally get a technician scheduled for Saturday morning. He determines that - you guessed it - the modem is defective and replaces it. The whole things takes like 20 minutes. Problem solved...a week later.

To the lady who said my Windows XP operating system was defective I say "Kiss my operating system. Your customer service is defective."

Sunday, September 02, 2007


Clay Throws a No-No

So, I am flipping the dial on Saturday night between the various college football games and the U.S. Open tennis tournament. The big sports story of the day thus far is in college football: Michigan's shocking loss to former Division I-AA team Appalachian St. At home, no less. I didn't get to watch any of this game on the new Big Ten network since Comcast (my cable company) was unable to negotiate a deal with the Big Ten in time for the start of the season. So yes, I live in a city with alumni of every Big Ten school and the major cable company here does not carry the network. Makes perfect sense. Did I mention that Comcast also made the NFL Network a premium channel after carrying it on basic cable last year? That won't suck or anything once the season starts and I'll lose a free NFL game every Thursday night.

Occasionally, I check the score on the Red Sox/Orioles games and see that the Sox are winning and that the Orioles are being shut out. What I don't initially notice is that the O's are also being no-hit. The starting pitcher for the Red Sox, 23 year-old rookie Clay Buchholz, is making his second career start. As he goes deeper and deeper into the game I start to take notice. No-hitter through 6 innings. No-hitter through 7 innings. Suddenly, ESPN is cutting in for updates and ESPNews has it on their ticker and is talking about it. Unfortunately, I do not have the Major League Baseball TV package so I cannot view the game live. I am relying only on TV and Internet updates. It is absolutely killing me not to see this game live. Of course, I could drive to a bar but figure by the time I get there Buccholz will have lost the no -hitter and it will have all been in vain.

Boston IP H R ER BB SO HR ERA
Buchholz (W, 2-0) 9.0 0 0 0 3 9 0 1.80

Buccholz takes the no-hitter to the 9th. Assuming that he retires the first two batters, the last hitter he would face is outfielder Nick Markakis. Markakis is a member of my fantasy baseball team, and I only mention this because another member of my fantasy team, Oakland's Shannon Stewart, broke up a no-hit bid by Boston's Curt Schilling with 2 outs in the 9th inning earlier this summer. "Oh no, not again," I exclaim. I needn't have worried. Buccholz retires Markakis on a called strike 3 for the 17th no-hitter in Red Sox history, the first by a Sox rookie in the team's history and the first since Derek Lowe threw one in 2002. Fenway Park is up for grabs, it is absolute bedlam.

One of the ironies of the event is that Buccholz would not even have been starting were it not for the back injury of starter Tim Wakefield, whose absence pushed the scheduled starter, Julian Tavarez, up a day to Friday and gave Buccholz his date with destiny Saturday night. The other irony is that earlier I saw on the ESPN ticker that Pedro Martinez, long time Red Sox ace who left as a free agent to the Mets in 2005 after winning the World Series with Boston, will make his first start of the year next week. The connection? Buchholz was obtained in the 2005 supplemental draft with a pick Boston received by virtue of losing Martinez as a free agent. Funny how things work out sometimes. The first thing that comes to my mind as a Red Sox fan after the no-hitter? "Cool, we're 5 games up on the Yankees again." Ahhh, the life of a Red Sox fan.